Catching up posts are never, ever fun to read or write. So I’m not going to sugar coat it: this past year was tough. I assume it was tough for you what with the global pandemic and all, but it is not just that. There was so much terrible this past year, and I can confidently say that what hasn’t killed us has made us stranger.

The best

My family welcomed our second child to the world last October. She is beautiful, strong, curious, and doing all of the things you’d expect an 8 month old to do. We learned she would be born with a cleft lip and palette and she has already come through the other side of two surgeries to repair her lip. The surgery itself was flawless, and she bears only the slightest visible scar. Next up is her palette repair, sometime in August or September. Hopefully August, because September is a buzzsaw (always is).

Having another child did two primary things to me: like everyone says, it opens your heart in radically new ways and also, whatever margin or bandwidth one had for attention or tolerating bullshit evaporated. I am certain that the margin builds back in eventually, but two children clarifies and distills what I need to do even more than the arrival of a first child.

Either way, she’s perfect for our family and one of the best things to ever happen to me. As I feel about her brother, I hope I do what is worthy of them, and that I help them be who they are going to be.

The good

My wife completed her seminary journey and has been ordained a Deacon in the Episcopal church! We have a date for her priestly ordination, and a work situation for her that is going to work for us this year.

I would be remiss if I also didn’t mention the support and friendship of our friends K & A. They arrived on Seminary and share our dual faith household, so were quick friends. In addition to their friendship, K became our nanny and go to person for so many things. Like several other people there, (looking at you SBC and JNP), they became chosen family and it was really difficult saying goodbye for now.

Other good things - the four year old is now four and still super sweet, curious, funny, and kind. Our cat is in good health, as are most of our friends. Financially, we’re doing ok - our savings are good and we’re still debt free since 2015. I completed courses 3,4, and 5 of my master’s degree. I should finish May 2022.

Meg and I celebrated 7 years of wedded bliss this past month and we still like each other. Heck, we’re buying a car this week, planning vacays, staycays, double dates, and other fun things again, thanks to Pfizer and J&J. We miraculously avoided contracting COVID - and if that were it, it would be enough.

The bad

Still - what a tough, tough year. I was just starting to get in a rhythm with my then new job when we went fully remote as a result of COVID. I never really got my feet under me, and my work suffered. I am trying not to be too hard on myself, but I did, at various points have work-related, work generated mental, physical, and emotional breakdowns.

Not to get into the weeds, but there was a lot of office drama, and I knew late last year that I had to move on. It took 5 months to land a suitable offer, and ironically, I’m leaving that one too. But I needed the exit. Hell, even after 6 weeks of paternity leave, I was - burned out isn’t even the right phrase but it is the only one that feels close - still completely burnt.

The ugly

Where to even begin? There has been so, so much ugly in the last year. I will never forget the last administration telling its citizens to drink bleach and not listen to people who knew what they were talking about; its callous indifference to 600k of its own people dying; tear gassing their own people in the shadow of the White House, and the incitement of an insurrection on Jan. 6. Every single political appointee of the last administration is culpable and liable for that damage, and most of them will get a raise for having served in that disgraceful, despotic regime.

But almost more disgusting and certainly more disheartening is the complete Corbynization of the party I used to work for. To feel politically homeless - to feel unwelcome in crowds I used to call home - is jarring and scary. I won’t go into details but so many of my friends shared things that I don’t think they had any idea how harmful it is/was. And I’m not even using the names of the places or actors involved because I don’t want it to show up in search. That’s the degree of scared I am, because I’ve seen digital mobs come after people for having the gall to say “I don’t think you’re right here,” or “its more complicated than you’re making it” or “You do realize this is emboldening really terrible actors to do awful things” or similar statements.

I feel completely without a political home in the American political landscape for the first time in my life and it is terrifying.

What’s Next

We did move back. I did get a new job, one I hope will be a place where I can grow and flourish like I did with Spry. Hopefully there’s some travel and some rest in the near future, and I hope I can get back into a rhythm of life that feels like life soon.